Shakespeare on “Spin”

For the lighter side…

I say,
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!
And many think with brain as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage.
Dull and muddy-mettled rascals,
They speak unskilfully: or, if their knowledge be more,
It is much darkened in their malice.

Remember,
Their sin’s not accidental, but a trade.
If you take their advice,
Truly thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side.

People,
Thou hath not so much brain as ear wax.
Hast thou never an eye in thy head?
Did they teach you how you should forget to think?
There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.
I took thee for thy better.

Spin Doctors,
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.
Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.
There’s no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of yours. Sense sure you have, else could you not have motion; but sure that sense is apoplex’d.
Thou art pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.
Draw your necks out of your collars. And stop speaking an infinite deal of nothing.

Your bait of falsehoods take this carp of truth:
Thou art so leaky that we must leave thee to thy sinking. No word to save thee. Canst thou believe your living is a life, so stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.
Assume a virtue if you have it not.

Peace, ye fat guts!
Peace, good pintpot, peace, good tickle-brain.
I will most humbly take my leave of you.